Last week, I received my batch of advanced reader copies of the little book I wrote—the book that’s going to be a real, published book in 6 months!
I got to pick up this paperback-looking version of my story, sandwiched between the amazing back and front cover art. My words are on actual pages. I’ve been impatiently-but-actually-patiently awaiting this moment!
The ARC and me.
It was a ridiculous experience.
I say ridiculous because at first, I opened the box and I felt like it was a regular day of receiving a hefty book order from Amazon. It was that excitement of pulling each book out, holding it, and being like “I can’t wait to read you all!” Except it was my book. My brain just couldn’t comprehend this. It was like “Wow! That cover is so nice. I can’t wait to read this!” And then I’d answer it: “You’ve already read it a million times! This is YOUR book. Look—your name!” But again, Brain would be like, “I’ll just read the first chapter. It sounds so good.” So I was like “Okay, fine. Read it and then you’ll realize what this is.”
I still felt like it was just a book I was reading—a book I might’ve read before, but that I was just as excited about reading yet another time. It felt like this thing I have a connection with, yes, but it wasn’t reflective of the actual super personal, deep connection I have with it. I couldn’t get my mind to realize what was going on. Let me be clear: it wasn’t disappointment at having hyped up this feeling. It’s this big freaking problem understanding reality.
Authors: Do you know what I’m talking about?
The ARC being read by my girlfriend.
I was staring at it, going “Dude, you wrote a book and the advanced copy of it is right here in your hands. It’s a real thing.” But it didn’t make sense. I feel like I can imagine exactly what another author would feel as they first lay eyes on one of their ARCs, but when it came to me, I couldn’t deal with this totally foreign concept.
I have a copy in my hands right now. It’s like…I know it’s a book, and I know it’s my story—it just doesn’t come together in my mind. So I keep staring at it, and reading it, and going “Is this real? Nah… Wait—is this really real?”
I have ARC angst! What an awesome problem to have. Ha!
I’m just going to keep reading my ARC, and telling myself it’s really happening.
Now I’m also wondering who else might want to read it… Do you want a copy of Girl Mans Up to read and (possibly) review? Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (or use my website contact form) and I will submit the requests to my publisher!